Recessional
by P. Franz
Summary: And I know I don't want this. Oh, I swear I don't want this. There's a reason not to want this... But I forgot.


**Guys, I swear I'm working on iNeed You. I've just had a bunch of small ideas pop into my head since I finished iLove you…and I can't control my impulses to act on them. Lol Please enjoy this space-filler while I work on Carly's POV. Thanks-ss.  
This story was inspired by and written to **_**Recessional**_** by Vienna Teng.  
Oh, and I don't own iCarly. :D**

"Sam, what are you doing out here?"  
I could tell by the sound of the footsteps on the grainy, asphalt roofing that it was her. The light rainfall made the rooftop slippery so she stepped slowly towards me, the slight reverb of her footsteps rippling through my body like soft waves. I didn't turn around, only shrugged to let her know I heard her.  
"I like it out here."  
I heard her sigh as she reached me; placing a hand playfully on top of my head, edges of her bracelet brushing against my scalp.  
"It's raining."  
"I know."

Her presence is so comforting to me; it's like a shot of morphine curbing a bout of immense pain or a cold shower after working out in the heat all day. She made me feel ways that I never imagined I ever would. But I wasn't sure I should even be thinking about things like that. I wasn't sure I should want that at all. Maybe it meant nothing.

She sat down beside me carefully and pulled her legs up to her chest.  
"You're so weird."  
I looked over at her and smiled boastfully.  
"That's why you love me."  
She smiled back, running a hand through her hair to see how wet it had already gotten.  
"Right."  
I peered off into the darkened sky, searching for conversation topics floating about in the rain.  
"It's getting late."  
She must've found one before I did.  
"Your mom's going to be worried if you don't go home soon…"  
She and I both knew that was a bold faced lie. My mother did _not_ care that much. Plus, I always stayed at Carly's whenever I wanted; I was rarely at my own house.  
"She'll be fine."  
I continued to stare out into the open, forecasting my words and actions with care.  
"Well, will you at least come inside and be all moody? It's wet out here."  
I glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.  
"Why don't you go back in? I'll be there in a minute."  
She shook her head, soaking wet brown locks less-than-elegantly flowing around her.  
"You know I can't leave your side when you're emotional and mope-y."  
I smirked.  
"I'm fine, Carls. This is my thinking spot."  
"I've never seen you come out here before to 'think'."  
"That's because you're always asleep."

Why was I so captivated by her? Even in the dimmest of lights she was beautiful to me. Carly Shay was the only girl I'd ever felt that way about. While I often questioned my own sexuality, I could honestly say that she was the only girl that I ever took a second glance at. Carly was the only person on this earth, really, who's energy, when intertwined with mine, caused a black hole of emotion in the pit of my stomach and my entire core to tighten into knots and ignite into a burning fire. As bad as that sounds, it was actually quite pleasant but was often accompanied by feelings of regret and guilt, both of which were painful, because I knew what I felt wasn't right. It was some kind of inward, personal struggle I had been having with myself for going on two years with no sign of relief. I knew it had gotten bad when random sentences and objects reminded me of her. I'd be at school messing around in the teachers' lounge and as soon as I looked at the coffee pot, my thoughts would skip from "_There's got to be something in here I can screw around with."_ to "_Carly loves coffee, I should bring her some."_ She was even in my dreams at least three or four times a week.  
I shouldn't have been feeling this way about my best friend.

"You wonder off in the middle of the night and sit on my roof while I'm asleep?"  
"Yeah."  
I sighed contentedly, looking off into blank surroundings.  
"Sometimes I even walk all the way from my house to sit up here."  
"In the middle of the night…?"  
"Yeah, _this_ is my thinking _spot_, and _night_ is my thinking _time_."  
She looked at me and shook her head.  
"What?"  
I bent my eyebrows, confusion thick in my voice.  
"Is that unnatural or something?"  
Carly giggled at me, linking her arm around mine playfully.  
"Everything you do is unnatural, Sam."  
"But-"  
"Especially your obsessive love of ham."  
She had me there. I was 200% sure that there was no one else in the world that loved ham as much as I did. I figured my mother must have eaten a lot of it while she was pregnant with me.  
"You're right."  
I nodded my head confidently.  
"I do love ham."  
She gasped suddenly and jerked her arm away from mine.  
"I just got an idea for the next iCarly."  
I grinned mischievously.  
"Watch me eat a whole ham in 15 seconds?"  
"I was thinking more like 25 but if you can do it in 15, that's even better."

If anything, it was nothing more than puppy love. A little crush. Something that happened to all people who had been friends since they were like 11.  
…right?

"See, I told you this was my thinking spot. It must work for you, too. Many great ideas have been born here."  
"I guess you're right."  
"Like that one time I played all those pranks on Freddie and blamed it on 'bad luck'."  
She nodded.  
"This _very_ spot is where I plotted that _wonderful_ scheme with my _devious_ little mind."

It's not like Carly was some total stranger that I didn't even know. So it wasn't _that_ out of the ordinary that I would have feelings like that for her. I guessed that's why I disliked the fact that Freddie liked her so much; because, in the back of my mind, I wanted her all to myself. I figured if it weren't for Carly, the past 5 years of my life would have been complete crap, so it wasn't as much of a _want_ as it was a _need_. I _needed_ Carly.

She laid her head back down on my shoulder, commenting that the rain had slacked off and turned into a slight drizzle.  
"It's getting late. Can we go back inside?"  
"You can. I've still got some thinkin' to do."  
"About what?"  
"Stuff."  
She looked up at me curiously.  
"Exactly what kind of 'stuff' are we talking about here?"  
"_Stuff_, Carly Shay. Sam Puckett _stuff_."  
"Troublemaking, scheming, and plotting doom on Freddie stuff?"  
I nodded thoughtfully.  
"Possibly…quite possibly."  
She grinned at me.  
"Serious stuff, though. I'm contemplating a romance."  
"A romance?"  
"Yeah. I'm in love, I think, and I've got to figure out what to do about it."  
"In love? With who?"  
I hesitated.  
"I'll tell you when I know for sure if these feelings are real."  
"The fact that you even used the word 'love' just baffles me."  
I smirked slightly, looking down at my feet, fumbling my words.  
"I just…I know I _love_ them, but I don't know if I'm _in_ love with them."  
I sighed.  
"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm _in_ love with them…but I don't think I should be."  
She stiffened her brow and sat up straight.  
"Don't know if you should be? Have you told them how you feel?"  
"Kind of…but not exactly. I don't think I should, though…I think our relationship would be better off staying in the 'friend-zone'."  
"You seem pretty uppity about this, though…that's not healthy, not even for you."  
"What I meant was…I think they would probably want to stay friends and not take the relationship anywhere beyond that point."  
It seemed as if she thought about it for a second before pulling me into a tight hug.  
"Whoever it is would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend."  
A wide grin found its way onto my face at the end of her comment.  
"You're a sneaky, lying troublemaker…but deep down inside, Sam, you're one of the kindest people I've ever met."  
I laughed.  
"When I want to be."  
"No one knows you like I do. You're one of a kind, that's for sure, but a catch nonetheless."  
"Right…"  
She glanced at me once before standing up.  
"I'll see you when you decide to come back in."  
"Alright. Thanks, Cupcake."  
She smiled.  
"You're welcome."  
"Love ya, Carls."  
She hesitated before turning around and allowing a warm smile to slide across her face.  
"Love you too, Sam."

_And I know I don't want this.  
Oh, I swear I don't want this.  
There's a reason not to want this…  
But I forgot._

"Hey, Carly. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

**I'm not too ecstatic about the ending…but I didn't really know how to take it where it should have gone. Anyway, hope you guys liked it, and look forward to chapter 1 of iNeed You, Carly's POV of iLove You. Thanks for reading and please review!  
Also, after reading over it a couple times, I added a bit to the end...and I think I might turn this into a 2-shot...since I, myself, am anxious to see what Sam's gonna do. haha**


End file.
